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Friday, April 20, 2012

The World to Come

I promise this is not an extension of my oh-so-depressing previous post.  More of a philosophical consideration of the (if there is one) afterlife. Or, the World to Come, The Other Side, Heaven, etc.  Gosh, it sure does have a lot of names, for something that might not even exist.  That’s interesting in itself…how can something that might be nothing have so many names?  Kind of funny.  Of course, Santa Claus goes by more than one name, as does G-d.   Hmmmm.  And we all know how many names pain has….but that we know is real.  Or is it?  Okay, I won’t go there.
Where was I…oh yeah.  A question I’d like to pose to anyone who is interested in partaking….just write your response in the comment section at the end of the post.  Here it is, ready:  With regard to your own death, do you want to see it coming (within any time period, but particularly, if you KNOW you only have a few minutes)  OR do you want it to be sudden, unexpected, and  totally unaware of  what is happening ( later, we can have fun thinking about what it would be like to not know you are dead)
Okay, that’s it.  If interested in this, perhaps you’d like to read my  post “First Encounter” which had to do with my experience as a “Ghost Whisperer” (though it only happened with one dead person.  It was a three time event, different places each time,  and in the end, I helped her cross.  It was an overwhelming and I felt good about it for maybe five seconds.  Then I started second guessing my role, thinking maybe I had no business doing that and maybe she wanted something more that I didn’t understand.  After all, I could see her lips moving but never actually heard her speak.  But I didn’t try very hard to understand either.  I just did what someone told me to do.  But who was I to decide what she needed?
After that, and still sometimes, I could “see” people from the other side all around me…usually only with my eyes closed; it wasn’t like on television (except for that one person) but I definitely could see them, though I rarely could talk to them.  It was so clear, and WAY before the meds so don’t go there.  In fact, all the medication has suppressed my ability, which saddens me.  I would have figured out a way to communicate.  I do know this: the separation between here and there is literally veil thin. 
I sometimes can put my hand up, think about my mother, and feel pressure on my hand; I have felt her hand on my left shoulder, her breath in my left ear.  Usually when I call her or am having a difficult time.  My aunts from my dad’s side are there too, as is my paternal grandmother.  She was the first and only adult to talk to me about death as if I were a grown up.  I was 11 at the time.  She passed when I was twelve..    But she told me not to be afraid, that it was just a different world.  I have never been afraid of death, thanks to her.
If you like, go back and read my post about my helpmates…can’t think of the exact title, but helpmates is  in there.  It explains who they all are to me.  So you see, it’s very confusing for me.  I have all these experiences, and yet, my human experiences sucks the big one.  I can’t enjoy a damn thing.  I hear people talking about their vacations, their this, their that, and my mind can’t get around it.  I’m not even jealous of it; I don’t really care, but I would like to feel pain free.  That’s the only thing I covet.  Being well.
A few years ago my sister took me to the hospital for some minor thing.  They gave me a spinal block and afterward, it was still working; We were in the car going home and I was feeling so good, I couldn’t figure out why.  And then it hit me.  I wasn’t feeling pain.  I started crying.  We ate some lunch and I enjoyed it until I felt the effects wearing off.  It was like some Scifi movie where you get well but the effects don’t last.  Only it was real.
So that’s what I covet.  And maybe, having the ability to have these experiences happens because I’m so tied to just a few things; reading, writing, movies and limited outings to shop or see doctors, I just don’t have the same distractions as everyone else (work, family, etc.) so I’m able to do tune in to the channel a lot of people don’t believe exists.  But I’m here to tell you it does.  And yet I continue to scream and yell that we just don’t know.

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