Channeling Optimism

Ah, suffering the slings and arrows of a loud cat.  Oliver has taken to meowing right in my ear, in his unabated effort for cat treats, which I dole out too generously (though he thinks me stingy).  I’m so glad I didn’t have children.  I’d have ended up institutionalized and the kid would have filed for early emancipation at the age of 12.  G-d does indeed work in mysterious ways.

I just finished that book I was reading about Alice Herz Sommer.  It was amazing.  Now I want to read the one she wrote.  As much as I try to remain optimistic in the face of my growing health challenges (and some say I am very optimistic, all things considered), I think I need to start channeling her into me.  But she’s still alive; and I don’t think you can channel living people.  Of course, this is assuming you can channel anyone in the first place.  Sigh.  Life is so confusing.

Two people having the same experience but completely different interpretations of that experience is something we are all aware.  But how does one remain so indelibly positive when things are rotten all over?  “I’m a born optimist” Alice Herz Sommers declares.  In the book I just read about her life (the title is a post or two down….can’t think of it and I returned the book to the library).  It touches on why she thinks she got through her experience in a concentration camp with optimism. 

And here I am, laying on a comfortable (and new) couch.  I just ate dinner, which I was able to make.  I have access to medical care and the medicine I need.  I have friends, and I have family.  I have very little money, but I am rich in oh so many ways.  Does all that make the pain go away?  No, it does not.  But this knowledge, if I think about it everyday,  keeps me out of the “suffering” category.  Pain and Suffering DO NOT go hand in hand.

You look at the faces of people in improvised lands and many are smiling for the camera.   In the west, in Europe right now (and I’m sure in the US as well) people are committing suicide due to the economic “downturn’ which is really a world wide depression.  When you fall from very high up, it is much more traumatic than it is if you have nothing to start with.  The big difference for me is the cost of the healthy choices I’m making food wise.  Though I’ve always eaten healthy food, I’ve taken it up a notch or two.  I’ve never roasted beets before; I’ve always liked fresh beets, but had no clue how to make them.  So I went online.  You can find anything online.

I still eat chocolate, although now nothing lower than 70% cocoa, and no more than 12 grams of sugar.  That’s up from my normal amount.  I will not buy anything with more than 9 grams of sugar.  I’m repeating myself, I know.  I’m having a senior moment.

So, we shall see.  I need to stop worrying about everything that is out of my hands.  As soon as I ‘get’ that we are all going to die, I relax a little.  It’s the in between birth and death that’s the challenge, right?  Then hopefully, my should will ADVANCE and I will not need to return.  As Freda Kalo wrote “I hope my exit is joyful and I wish never to return”