It is patch day today, and like every other patch day, I
remove the old patch, take a shower in water as hot as I can stand it, shampoo
my hair, scrub off the glue from the old patch and step out of the shower. Then I try not to look in the mirror over the
sink that faces the shower. I wrap myself
in a towel, dry off and put the new patch on before rubbing lotion all over
me. Trying not to look in the
mirror. Then I put on the things that I
sleep in, even though it’s only 2 in the afternoon. I do this while trying not to look into that
damn mirror. The one that is over the
sink, facing the shower. The one that
is, I swear, a reflection of some other me; perhaps the one that died in a
concentration camp in its previous incarnation.
Yes, with age, everyone’s body changes. This feels like it’s
a bit over the top. I think back to
2005, just eight years ago, when I had breast cancer and had a mastectomy of my
right breast. Just before the surgery, I
went to a healing retreat in NM. I was
able to fly there. I was able to
participate in the event, even though I was in pain. I had the surgery and came out of it with
flying colors. My NF has advanced much
since then. I don’t even want to think
about life eight years from now. While I
am far from the only one facing life changing events (my sister has lost two
friends to ovarian cancer, other friends are facing health challenges and I am
very worried about my dad’s health and the distance we are from one another). So I get that I am not the only one with problems.
But I do have pity potty parties on occasion. Then I get this in my inbox. Puts things in perspective. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly
(well, no way to get it out again, but you know) access to the medicine I need
and people who love me. I am
blessed. Please click on this and watch
it.
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