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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Balancing Act

I didn’t sleep well last night and lack of sleep causes my pain to shoot up .  I need to get at least 8 hours for the pain to be at a “6” on the 1-10 scale.  Today it’s at an 9 and it’s not even 10 a.m.   Then I get angry and then it gets worse.  It is beyond frustrating, all the things that make it worse.  Here’s a little lesson on negative/positive thinking:
Pain is:
Worse with lack of sleep                  Better with more sleep
Worse when I don’t eat                     Eases off with food, especially protein
Worse when I do too much               Better with a lot of rest
HORRIFIC without medication         Tolerable with every dose
Worse when I’m too emotional         Better if I meditate, listening to soothing music
Worse if I never emote                      Better if I allow myself to cry occasionally
Worse without “alternative” care      Better with acupuncture, reiki, massage
Worse with isolation too long           Better when I see someone once a week

That’s all I can think of at the moment.  Feel free to add your own in the comment section. There is one which is hard to write about because it depresses me.  A friend called yesterday and said I should throw my walker in the car and go somewhere for a short walk.  Good advice.  It’s pretty hilly in Seattle but there are some flat places I could go.  Obviously, exercise helps with a host of things if you can do it.  My pain feels worse if I move too much, but if I don’t move enough, other things start to fall apart…..I get constipated from the drugs, my heart races, my muscles atrophy….etc, etc.

But even walking, which is about all I can do, makes my pain shoot through the roof.  I went out for dinner with a friend last night and I can’t sit for more than 20 minutes without horrific pain so while doing that is enjoyable, I pay a high price.  But the socializing is good for me and I have to get out once in a while!!!  Balance.  It’s all about balance.

And today sun is out, the sky is blue, it’s going to be in  the high fifties and it’s Super Bowl Sunday which means I can go somewhere and there won’t be crowds of people.

Sometimes I’m so frustrated I could cry.

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