My Job

Like everyone else, I have to stay on top of things like bills, appointments, accuracy in my statements, etc.  Unlike most people, this is my only job.  That may not seem like much, but trust me, when you are in the kind of pain I am in day in and day out, it is burdensome.

You see, people don’t get it, nor can they.  So when I went to get my eyes checked (the third appointment due to them making a mistake on my newest pair) and they were running 20 minutes late then offered me an appointment three months down the line, I didn’t have the energy to argue, I just went home.  In pain, no further along to solving the problem.  I wrote an email to them a couple days later letting them know how I felt about being treated like that after coming there for 12 years, and they called and got me in next Tuesday.  Admittedly, finding a time was difficult due to the change in my care- giving schedule.  I tried explaining that to them, but I don’t think they cared.

Then I ordered one of Oliver’s meds online and after placing the order and paying for it, they tell me one of the things is out of stock.  It was supposed to be back in stock Monday.  It still isn’t.  And I paid for it.  And Oliver will run out.  I emailed them letting them know it’s not cool to charge a customer BEFORE you fill the order.  Now that they are very low on this drug and they are getting a very limited supply back in, they probably won’t fill it for me; just reimburse me.  Poor Oliver.  That better not happen.

Then I got a bill from someone I should not have gotten a bill from.  Took a few minutes to straighten that out.  All these things over two days.  I’m sure people might read this and think, “She’s got nothing to do, what’s her problem?” but if that person had 1/10^th of the pain I am in, they’d know.  Neuropathic pain is torture beyond measure because it’s constant….well as close to constant as it gets.

I get way too stressed out when these things happen because I am so limited about what I can and can’t do.  Mostly can’t.  My eyes are so bad; I told the eye doc that reading is one of the few things I enjoy and making me wait another three months after you made an error is not acceptable.  And it’s not. 

The Serenity prayer is a good reminder; but it’s not about courage for me….it about strength.

G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage and strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

There.  I fixed it!!!

My new caregiver will probably think I think of myself as a princess when she sees how my bed and couch need to be made; the tumors on my back, my legs, my arms hurt so much I need to be on something as fluffy as possible and Pam Jerry rigged up something for me on the couch and she is an expert bed fluffer!