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Sunday, October 7, 2012

Warning Bells

I slept better the last two nights, thankfully.   I feel frightened much of the time though.  When I’m awake, that is.   It’s funny….my brother and his wife were in Spain for three weeks and as it happens, so was a good friend of mine.  She just got back, and they are on the way.  My nephew is in Viet Nam studying for three months.  Just got some great pics from him via my brother and his wife, who forwarded it to me.  And a good friend of mine just got back from a week in New York with her husband.

I think about how house bound (couch bound) I am and wonder why I don’t feel anything about it anymore.  I have always been happy for friends and family when good things go there way; and of course, they have challenges as well.  And comparing is useless and unfair.  No one but the person experiencing their challenge knows how hard it is.  Sometimes, a friend will call to tell me they hurt themselves or their in pain from something, and they’ll think “Sherri has to deal with this every single day”   Well, every single minute is closer to the truth, but it’s gratifying to know that people can be aware of my particular challenge.

It has been unseasonably beautiful in Seattle, and not being able to enjoy it has been hard.  I do have a great view of the sky and trees and my wind chimes from my couch.  My couch.  You know that message you get with an email that reads “Sent from my iPhone?   I got so sick of seeing that….knowing whoever sent it was out and about (and I get them all the time) that I finally wrote “Sent from my iCouch” as part of my signature.  Only two people even noticed.

Oliver is improving; being his grumpy old self.  But he had a post op appointment Friday and the vet, whom I adore, said it was already healed (his gums).  Of course, he still has the swatch of missing fur on his forepaw, but it will grow back.

In the meantime, my dad sent Oliver a get well card…it had a picture of puppies on the front.  He wrote: “Hope you feel better, sorry about the puppies” I almost wet myself laughing.  He’s such a darling, my dad.  I love him so much.  And he is challenged physically too (spinal stenosis) and hurts all the time.  But he pushes himself to go out and about.  I wish he’d get help, but other than the cleaning lady, he claims he doesn’t need it.  One has to let it go.

If I hadn’t set up DSHS and Medicaid when I did, I would have been in deep doo doo, because there is so little I can do without excruciating pain.  It was so hard setting it up; no one could help me with that part, I just had to do it.  But if warning bells are going off in your head about getting help, GET THE HELP. The hardest part was admitting it.


A Fun Tune  - Betty Hutton version more passionate than Bjork's, I think.

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