Yelling at the Stars

Here’s a thought:   This morning, after my sweet maintenance man from our building (he really is a doll) came by to move my car for me (they are paving and I can’t hoof back) I noticed I couldn’t find my cell phone.  Anywhere.  And I knew it wasn’t in my car because I hadn’t been in it for a while.  Then I remembered I actually went in the back seat to get something last night and I had the phone with me.  I had looked high and low before the memory came back.  A friend had come by and took me to the mailbox.  I had it then.  So I had two places to look.    Before calling Verizon to put a hold on my phone, I was ridiculously upset.  In front of the woman who helps me and who, until this point, thought I was fun and easy to be with.  She saw an ugly side to me today.

So here’s the thing.  I noticed I got AS UPSET about the stupid phone as my MRI.  Almost zero difference, except the phone thing was a shorter upset.  I started to think about our emotions, and how it really doesn’t matter what the issue is, whether it’s serious or banal, we do what we do unless we become aware.  See, whether it was a potential scary news about my MRI (won’t get started on what I consider to be “good news” but you get the idea) or a lost phone, we can go out at night, shake our fists to the sky and yell our brains out at the starts.  Then watch to see if they move.

The Universe doesn’t care.  I did not write “G-d” doesn’t care (if he exists); I wrote the Universe doesn’t care.  It doesn’t.  It just does its thing, and we do ours.  But I’m hoping to do mine better.  I’m working on becoming more aware FIRST and save myself the aggravation of flipping out over silly and serious things and hoping that in the long run, it will lessen my pain.  All my pain.  Physical, Emotional, Spiritual…..all of it.  All the time.  From my lips to G-d’s ears.


Just Sway with the music in your heart