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Sunday, July 15, 2012

Just Stuff

Hi there, whoever you are.  I’ve not been writing much lately.  I’m in horrific pain and I’m just tired all the time.  I spoke to my friend Ted; I’ve only talked to him twice since he moved in the nursing home.  He wants me to call on weekends only, and with all my activities; mountain climbing, bungee jumping, roller blading and my favorite, lying flat on my back and reading, I just don’t have the time.

No, really, he sounded pretty awful.  He said it’s so noisy all the time he can’t stand it…he puts in his ear buds and listens to music, but he can’t get Wi-Fi so he can’t get on the Internet (he rarely did so anyway, but he would like to download more music).  Food is awful, no friends….I just wanted to sob.  And it frightens me to death because my legs are all but gone now (how can you have numbness AND pain?  Talk about torture….I could teach torture techniques….grow tumors on the spines of the enemy).

They’ve been paving and painting now that we finally got summer in the Pacific Northwest.  AND we had a thunderstorm the other day.  In the 26 years I’ve lived here, I remember about 5, and that’s it.  In Minnesota, we had them all the time.  I didn’t even recognize it as thunder.  I kept asking my caregiver what the noise was and she kept saying “thunder” but I didn’t see lightening so I thought it was the workman making noise.  It was supposed to be cloudless and sunny the rest of the month, but of course, it is overcast and rainy today.  But it started this way yesterday and cleared up so who knows.

I have still been celebrating my birthday…my sister came over last week, and a friend the other day.  It’s nice, this belated celebration stuff.  I wish I felt well enough to go out and celebrate, but seeing friends means the world to me…at home or elsewhere.  I went out with a friend last night and am paying dearly for it today.  Tomorrow, I have a list a mile long of things to get done with my caregiver.  Haircut, shopping, bank…..for me, that’s a lot.

If you haven’t heard about Aimee Copeland, Google her and read her remarkable story.  She gives me strength….and I feel guilty at my moaning and groaning…then again, I’ve been doing this for 30 years of my 59 on this planet.  Probably much more when you add in all else that has gone wrong.  I just can’t believe my body is still working at all.

Wish I had more to write about….be well, be happy.


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