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Saturday, June 2, 2012

Endless Opportunities

Well, my friend Ted is going into a Medicaid nursing home.  I’m so sad and depressed about it I could cry.  The poor guy has been to hell and back with his NF.  He’s dying.  I pray for him to be over and done with this, because that is what he wants. Obviously, he never thought he’d live to see this day.

I could list everything wrong with me (and often do) but it pales in comparison (something I preach against doing…comparing) to what he has endured.  This is when I really start asking the tough questions.  Why would someone as sweet, thoughtful and loving as this man be forced to bear this awful disorder?  Or as he says, ghastly.

Who would we be without our challenges?  Do those challenges make us who we are?  Does the way we endure them matter to anyone except ourselves as those who love us?  By that I mean, does it count?  How we endure?  Does it matter to our fractured souls?  And if there is “someplace else” that we go once we die, does how we handle those challenges count toward whatever might happen next? I tire of asking that question, but with all the time on my hands, it comes up a lot.

I seem to keep getting “opportunities” to improve on how I handle things.  On the way to the dentist the other day, to have my permanent crown put on (number four in the past six months), ANOTHER crown fell out.  Part of me wanted to scream, another part laughed at the insanity of it happening on the way to the dentist.  Literally.  This one can’t be fixed, so I’m having it yanked and need to see an oral surgeon because my dentist is afraid she would damage the crown next to it.  IT NEVER ENDS.

My point being, there are always opportunities to do it better.  Handle it better.  With grace, dignity and chocolate.

Please pray for my friend.

"Hello in There" by John Prine
this song isn't just for the elderly

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