Thursday, June 14, 2012
I managed to make it (with the help of a good friend) to my niece’s graduation last night. Being the valedictorian in general studies (and a young man was the valedictorian for religious studies), they each gave a speech. They were both moving, and Molly’s brought back memories as well as reminders.
She kept quoting from Dr. Seuss’s book “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” and talking about how when her mom read it to her, she didn’t really understand the dichotomy of the tale, but that now she does. And this morning, I googled it and found the whole thing online. It really is a great reminder of the ups and downs of life. One of them is the fact that my dad flew in from Mpls to be here and it’s been tough getting together. He doesn’t feel all that great, and though he could have gotten a ride to see me today, he, like me, must reserve his energy for the big things…the next one being the party my sister is having for Molly on Saturday. I did see him for lunch the day after he came in; it’s just frustrating that he’s so close, yet so far. But that’s life…the ups and downs of life, like Dr. Seuss wrote about.
I needed that reminder, as I get so overwhelmed with my challenges I forget that I am not alone in my fight, nor am I without some good days with good friends and family. And here’s the thing; when I meditate or just breathe in big, deep breaths, when I remind myself that right now, right this minute, I’m fine and that when I die, the pain will be over (that’s a hopeful guess) and hopefully, I can move on and forward to the next level of whatever.
When I do this, when I ask myself, “what are you afraid of?” it disappears (the stress, the fear) immediately, if not sooner (lol). Truly, it’s like letting air out of a balloon. My legs, which cause me so much pain, relax and the pain lessens. Because I’m not afraid to die. I’m not suicidal, I’m just not afraid of it. I am afraid of the “how” of it, but after what I have been through these past 12 years, it seems like there isn't much that could happen that would be worse. (Dear G-d: that’s not a challenge. Don’t even go there).
If you have a few minutes, check out the full text of the book: http://denuccio.net/ohplaces.html
Posted by Sherri at 12:14 PM