Help on the Way

Well, I dragged myself to the bank yesterday and got what they needed to finish up my application for home health care through COPES (DSHS).  I’m looking forward to the help, and the company.  It just keeps getting worse, so I think I‘m doing this just in time.  Plus, Ted was an inspiration to me.  His upbeat sounding voice made me realize if he can feel good about having the help (and going somewhere he swore he’d never go) than I can, too. My left hand was shaking so bad this morning I could barely hold my cup of yogurt.  Oh well.

I keep reading updates about Aimee Copeland, that 24 year old grad student who contracted that flesh eating disease in May.  She lost a leg, the foot on the other leg and both hands.  So all things considered, I’m lucky.  But I’m also dizzy all the time which scares me.  I need to get in and see my neurologist.  I’m just scared.  Plus, the help I’m getting does not include transportation to my main doctors because it’s in another county.  So I need to work on that.  There are always challenges in life.

My niece and nephew (brother’s kids) came for a visit yesterday.  They are back for the summer, and they brought me lunch and we visited for a few hours.  It was nice.  They are so sweet.  I have been “protecting” them from how bad it’s been but I can’t do it anymore.  I was as upbeat as I can be, but they are old enough to understand how bad it really is and they get it.  My nephew leaves for Southeast Asia in August for four months to study.  We laughed, when recalling how his dad was so terrified he’d be drafted.  But he wasn’t.  Talk about coming full circle.  Thank heaven he isn’t going there to fight.  He spent the month of May in intensive study about neuroscience and philosophy (he's now a confirmed atheist.  After all his years before college going to a religious school.  Figures.  At 21,he's doing exactly what he should be doing.  Questioning.  Actually, we should all do it all the time).  And my niece just got back from a year in Israel, studying.  She goes back to school here in the fall.

Speaking of Southeast Asia; there was this special on the learning channel about a guy in Vietnam with NF.  He has a 200 pound tumor that covers one side of his body. I saw the clip online but don’t get that channel which is good, because I would have watched it and gotten freaked out.  I was freaked out enough watching the clip.

I must work harder on letting go and letting G-d.  Everything is out of my hands, health wise.  I am supposed to have a renal scan today; I cancelled it once, but I’m really not up for it (again).  It’s just a preventative check because I catherize and I know I should, but I have so many more pressing issues.  I need to make an appointment with my neurologist today.

Sigh

Blessings