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Thursday, February 28, 2013


Well, it took almost two hours with the caseworker.   I never would have been able to do it alone.  She told me most people get in overwhelm and then they don’t do it at all, they lose their benefits and they have to start all over again.  I can’t imagine.    I just hope she did it correctly because she didn’t sound so sure about some of it.  Now I wait for a phone interview.

Pam just left.  She was coughing up a storm and I sent her on her way.  My prescription which was mailed Monday still isn’t here.  And I had another fight with the pain doc nurse. She flips back and forth on “rules” and then flips out on me.  I had called to tell her the prescription for the missing pills still wasn’t here, and by the way, I’ll be down to three patches tomorrow.  That was the agreed upon amount, giving the new prescription nine days to get to me.  I need that time because of these screw ups (last time it turned out it hadn’t gotten mailed and I fear that happened this time).  Now she SCREAMED at me that “six days” was enough (it’s not; my pharmacy needs 24 hours to fill this particular script) so call when I’m down to two, not three.  She’s a lunatic.  And you can’t argue with her because the non-sequiturs just keep pouring out of her mouth.  I mean, I’m talking about the script not being here and she launches into something completely different; our normal schedule.  So now I have to call her twice.  To let her know when the one for the missing pills comes, and again on Monday to let her know I’m down to two patches.  I guess she loves these moments because she told me the only other way to do it is for me to come there and get them.  She’s pushing me to do that, even though she knows it’s beyond hell for me to do so.  I do really like her most of the time, but sometimes I think she’d be better suited doing something else  Working with people like me all the time has got to have an expiration date.

In the meantime, I spoke with my neurologist about the trial for shrinking tumors and although I’m not a candidate, he wants to see me in the next couple weeks because I said the pain management thing wasn’t working very well.  They would love to see me go away.  If they can’t fix it, they just don’t know what to do.  I get that. 

The good news is I had a couple good days this week, and for that, I am grateful.  But at 4:30 this morning my walls started shaking like someone was pounding on them.  I peered out my bedroom window and saw about six cops standing around.  They didn’t look particularly concerned about anything and I couldn’t tell who they were here to see.  Maybe they were banging on my door by mistake.  Who knows?  I hate those kinds of disturbances.  Normally, I would never look out the window like that, but there was no screaming or anything, just loud talking.  It took forever to fall back asleep, and when I did, I dreamed a cop was pointing a gun at me, telling me to go with him.  Disturbing, those disturbances!

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