Bowling Ball

I am glad it’s Friday because the week has been challenging and the pain pretty bad.  Not to mention the gastro problems.  I went to a local GI doctor and she said the same thing that they all say; there is nothing anyone can do short of the occasional barium enema.  Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?  The doctors just don’t get it.  Bulk to my system is what junk food is like to other people.  It stresses my system because my muscles don’t work.  Spinal cord degeneration. 

I tell people to think spinal cord injury when I tell them about my bowel issues, but most people don’t think about how much a problem maintaining bowel function is to someone with spinal cord issues.  She did say I should use the Relistor (the shot) on occasion.  I told my pain doc nurse it didn’t work the last time I used it, so she thought the constipation was not due to opioids’.  In fact, I’m thinking the Fentanyl causes more constipation then the methadone.  And the GI doc disagreed with the pain nurse.  She said I may not have been as backed up as I thought I was when it didn’t work.  So maybe I’ll try it again the next time it’s really bad.  The problem is I ALWAYS feel like I am constipated.  Because of the tumors.  They push on my spine, but buttocks and give the sensation of a bowling ball being stuck down there

She also said diarrhea won’t hurt me.  Didn’t mention electrolytes, which I thought was odd, but I had volunteered that I drink Coconut Water so maybe she knew I had it covered.  My weight isn’t as low as I thought it was; hasn’t changed much from the hospital stay in September but at least I haven’t lost any more.  And my appetite is up and down.  As are my emotions.   I’m trying really hard not to freak out by the day to day worries of what will be next for me.  There is just now and now and now….right?  Didn’t I write that?  Why don’t I listen to myself?  I think the pain does a number on my head.

My computer guru hasn’t been here for a while and I was thinking about him yesterday and then he called last night.  Weird.  That’s like the third time that’s happened.  I think about him, he calls.  Not unusual to happen occasionally, but I almost never see this guy and then “poof” he’s on the phone to me.  I haven’t had a computer tune-up since I bought the thing almost a year ago now; I keep up with the diagnostics on it but I need an expert once in a while to make sure it’s humming.  I’m just rather broke these days.  So many expenses.  The cost of my help has gone up as is everything else.  But I don’t want my computer to crash so I guess I need to have him out here.  It’s cheaper than fixing it when it’s broken.

And my supplier for my now legal in Washington state marijuana, the dependable and non-addictive break-through med, is a sweetheart who fronted me some because I was out.  And truly, it takes away the pain much quicker than the opioids’.