First Day Home (Yesterday)

Well, my first full day home after the hospital is behind me (yesterday).   I’m still about as constipated as you can get because I started eating again (lost 12 pounds since February and I’m thin to begin with….102 now) now that the pain levels have come down to a 5 or a 6 instead of a 12 on the 1-10 scale.

The doc who followed me there (an oncology doc, not my pain doc) gave me a “bowel regiment” but they just don’t get that I’m not new to this…it’s been chronic for 12 years.  I have so much fiber in me I feel like I’ll explode, but no results in the BM department.  Sorry to be so graphic.  Kind of fun, eh?  I figure the people reading this are familiar with these challenges so I don’t care what I write.

The good news is, yesterday I actually had two hours of ALMOST pain free. It was amazing.  Didn’t last, but I was crying and thanking G-d the whole time.  I’ve been meditating in the morning while my anti-anxiety meds kick in.  They doubled it, for good reason.  Maybe if this gets under control I can go back to the lower dose, but for now, I need it.   The pain ratchet up again, but not as severe as it was the day I took the ambulance to the ER.  I want to avoid that like the plague.  Horrible.  But necessary.   Trying not to think what that bill will be!!!  Ambulance, ER, three days in the hospital….and they charge you per tissue you use to wipe your nose, as you know.

The person who is my caregiver was a doll.  She was here when it all unfolded and she ran and had a key made, then came in and took care of Oliver while I was in the Big House (okay, I know that’s prison, and it felt like it).  I was very, very grateful because my neighbor didn’t return any of my calls for help.  And they were home, I saw them.    She has physical limitations too, so maybe that was why but I would have liked to speak to her.  Oh well.  Oliver is not real happy with me these days.  Really, really mad at me when I got home.

I’m in a fair amount of pain now….part of it is the constipation and I’m only giving it a few more hours before I pull out the big guns.  It’s been since Wednesday…so its day three.   They told me since I had the “clean out” I could start fresh.  But I’ve had clean outs before and it never makes a bit of difference.  Neurogenic bowels don’t suddenly become functional.  Man, you gotta teach them everything!!!  Kidding.

In other news, I did finish a great book while I was there.  It’s called “Peace like a River” by Leif Enger.  Incredible book.  He’s got another one that I read years ago, but this is his first and you can’t put it down.  Takes place in the Midwest in the 40’s and it’s about faith, family and intrigue.  Really, really, worth the time to read.

Hope your day is fabulous.

Blessings