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Friday, February 13, 2015

Two Weeks

I had that set- back last Saturday that I wrote about…hoping the UTI is under control.  I saw my urologist and they will tell me Monday what’s what.  Drinking tons of water…not having much luck in the other direction.   Hopefully, that will clear up too.  It was so good for so long.  I’m going to assume the surgery caused the change, and it will right itself again.

I have my post op appointment on Tuesday.  My surgeon isn’t going to be there but they want me to come in anyway….I know what they want to talk to me about….the bleeding soft pallet.  I don’t really care about seeing the surgeon as long as someone from the team is there to answer questions.  My sister is taking me to her house the night before as the appointment is in the very early morning hours.  Which means I’ll have no help on Tuesday morning.  But I have someone in the afternoon so it’s all good.

I’m just frustrated about so much….not driving, mainly.  I am hoping that eventually, when the pain from the surgery is better, that leg will be better.  But my other leg is bad too. The neurological pain isn’t going anywhere but hopefully, some of the topical pain will leave.  Right now it hurts just as much as before, but I’m sure it’s from them digging into my muscle to extract the tumors.    I’ve been saying for years that my back up pain medication is like taking an MM or a Tic Tac.  What they gave me after surgery is a joke.

Still, it’s the FIGHTING against the pain that makes it so unbearable.  Fighting because, well, who wants to live with this kind of pain?  But the naked, twisting truth is, relaxing into it makes it lessen.  Not by much, but it’s all about degrees.  And keeping that mindset is a constant struggle.  And right now, I am adding surgical pain to the mix.  I can already tell that the relief will be on the low end of what the surgeon told me to expect.  Because what he did will not help with the neurological pain.  That said, if there is some relief from the topical pain, I will feel blessed.


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