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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Stiff as a Board

There was this “levitating” game I used to play as a kid called “Stiff as a Board. Light as a Feather” that, if one person was lying in repose, four others, two on each side of her or him, would put two fingers each under her and mutter those words three times.  At that point, the person lying down would feel very light, could be lifted and eventually, when we removed our fingers, would be levitating.  In theory. Lots of sore behinds.

Anyway, I have the stiff as a board part on my left side. It’s amazing how my body is changing and adjusting each day.  My tongue and mouth are still a tad numb and I called the doctor about it.   The nurse called back and said he had no idea what that was (it’s common right after surgery due to intubation, but not this long) and told me to call the anesthesiologist which I did.

He called back and spoke with me a long time (I am over the moon impressed with everyone at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle).  He wasn’t on the team, but read from the chart that I was difficult to intubate and that my pallet bled and I should see an ENT person.  They were going to tell me at my follow-up but after I told him about the numbness, he suggested I call now.  I told him I was sorry I called, and laughed. He said he didn’t’ want to alarm me and I told him it would be impossible to do that at this point in my life.  I’m not worried.  No breathing or swallowing problems and I won’t put my body through anything more unless it’s necessary.

My body hurts a lot right now but amazingly, with the exception of a very bad pity potty experience when I left the hospital, my mental health is hanging on.  I need to make a HUGE effort to resist the black hole; it calls me constantly.  But I talk to my helpers, I talk to my tumors and I now have the once a week support group from NF….for two more sessions anyway.  And of course, I have this and all my NF friends that are my second family.  My own family is always checking up on me too, glad that I have the help.

I took a shower on my own, no help here at that time but felt strong enough or I wouldn’t have done it.  I have to be very careful because some of the steri strips are still on and I don’t want to pull them.  My help reminded me of that when she saw me tugging at one.  She asked me if I wanted to bleed out. LOL.   The weather is cold and rainy so I hurt more.  And I’m glad I’m not going to any stores, hearing about the “tragic” loss to New England via the Seahawks.  It’s a game.

I’ve been wanting to post this song for a long time but it was never available on UTube until now.  I think the word “Harbor” (Harborview) made me think of it now.  And the wonderful sunset from my 8th floor window

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