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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Withdrawal Symptoms Not Subsiding

I know I used to warn people off the Internet when it comes to looking up medical issues you may be having.  Much of the information is anecdotal, and even when you are reading from a trusted medical site, we are all different so talking to your doctor is best.

Okay….now that I got that out of the way, I can admit that I have been online trying to find out when this frakking (just started watching Battlestar Gallactica for the first time….love how they use “frakking”) withdrawal and stomach gas, constipation and diarrhea (depending on the day) will end.  It or me, that’s what it’s down to.   Too much bulk.  Not enough bulk.  It’s endless.  And the insomnia and body aches (which were worse last night than they have been for weeks….the withdrawal is like a bad penny….just keeps turning up).  I eat, gain a bit of weight, then have diarrhea for (this time) three weeks….but if I stop taking my Miralax, I’m constipated within a day.  I HATE THIS.  So I looked up Fentanyl and that scared the bejeezes out of me.  I need to trust that it will stop.  Being on it for 12 years at 60 mg a day is tough.  My body just wants to hang onto it; and I’m on another narcotic; you’d think it would not be this bad

I was so whacked out from the muscles aches last night I couldn’t even do my drumming meditation at bedtime.  I had done it twice during the day, though.  If this isn’t Hell, I hope I’m in Heaven 30 minutes before the Devil knows I’m dead.

My nieces came for a visit yesterday….all three of them.  The darlings brought lunch and we laughed and chatted for two hours before I said I needed quiet.  They cleaned up, hugs all around and I hope to see them again soon.  School will be back in session soon, so it may be a while. 

Meanwhile, my nephew returned home after three months in Southeast Asia (an abroad thing for school) yesterday!   Haven’t seen him yet, but he’ll be here 10 days before he heads back, so I hope to see him and hear about his adventures, especially with the Monks.  He did text his mom before he left to say he was riding a bike through the streets (or was it a path in the jungle?) when dozens of monkeys started following him.  Awesome, it was!!!  I can just see it!

This Jefferson Airplane song, "White Rabbit", may have been a "pro" drug song in the sixties, but it's a cautionary tale for me

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