Experiment In-Testines

One of my all-time favorite movies was “Experiment In Terror”   I ordered it online a few months ago and could not believe what a deal I got for it…it’s hard to get and expensive.  When it came, I couldn’t play it because it was a UK copy. Buyer beware!  Should have looked more closely.  I usually do.   Anyway, thought I’d play with the title of this post!

And the gastro-intestinal experiments continue.  If I hear the world “bulk’ one more time I’ll puke.  People with NF tumors in that area of the body often, like me, have neurogenic bowels (and bladders) which is what spinal cord injury people have.  Thus, care must be taken to make sure one eliminates waste.  For me, the struggle is as constant as the northern star; and as Joni Mitchell once wrote, “Constantly in the darkness, where’s that at?”

I can no longer digest green beans, a staple for me.  Now it’s so gassy I can’t eat it.  I made Swiss chard yesterday with a yam, and today I made kale with a yam.  My tummy hurts and I eliminate next to nothing.  Oh, and that shot?  The Relistor?  I’ve tried it at home four times and all it did was give me a horrible stomach ache and diarrhea.  It worked in the hospital and I know I’m doing it right, so who knows.  Right now I feel awful.  Maybe (heaven forbid) it’s chocolate I can no longer digest.  Perish the thought.  I do eat far less of it, though.

I’m tired.   So very tired.  I had an incredible experience with the drumming the other day.  I did what my therapist suggested and it was a wild ride.  I made it to the end of the tape, was “called back” and it was like going through a worm hole (well, the movie version) going and coming back.  I strongly recommend getting a Shamanic drumming CD, putting headphones on, turning off the phone, and letting yourself go.  Just picture a place that feels safe to you, hold one question in your head, close your eyes and put yourself in that place and see what happens.  Your mind will resist at first but just let the thoughts come and go and refocus on your question.  If nothing else, it takes your mind off all that ails you. At least it does for me.   At this stage, I take what I can get and am thankful for it!

My brother just phoned.  He and Fran, his wife, are coming by for a visit before they leave for NM for a week.  He said they will stop and get stuff to eat.  Hope I can eat, after all those greens and the yams.  I feel awful.  It will be nice to see them though!!

I know I used this song somewhere else on my blog, but it's appropriate (again)