Monday, June 8, 2015
Remember how I had surgery in February to have some tumors on my leg removed? And one on my arm (though he took more than that and now it hurts worse than it did before). Well, the ones on my leg are growing back. Once again, I can see my leg pulsating with the tumors beneath the surface. The pain is excruciating and at the same time, I cannot feel my feet anymore. Impossible to explain but the closest I can come is comparing it to when you bang your elbow and it zings. That’s the feeling. Constant painful zinging but also numb. Really. No, seriously. Good thing I sold my car. Not that I drove it. Trying to humor but it’s getting harder and harder.
I need to update my medical marijuana card and can’t get in to the doctor until August. I still have this month left on the card, so I have to go in and stock up until I get it renewed.
In the meantime, I’m still waiting for my CBD oil that I ordered online to get here. With all the junk I take, I’m not at all sure it’s going to make any difference. The CBD that I smoke now helps sometime, but mostly, I just have to stay flat on my back and distract myself every day, all day. I try and put myself in a state of suspension and stay in the moment. Anyone who meditates knows how hard that is to do for 20 minutes let alone 24 hours a day, minus when you’re lucky enough to sleep.
The Next Day
My CBD oil was in today’s mail! It’s from CW Botanicals (Charlotte’s Web) and as I mentioned, is that strain I’ve been waiting to become available for the last two or three years. It was very hard to come by but now, you can get it online. I’ve been reading the label and they can’t make a lot of claims or even tell you how to use it. Some broad strokes which I will take into consideration. It’s very expensive.
I read a couple reviews and one was from someone with anxiety issues which helped. I am through the roof with my anxiety. Considering all the CBD I smoke, I’m thinking it won’t be a problem mixing it with all the drugs I take. Fingers crossed.
Okay. It’s been an hour since I took it and nothing has changed. Perhaps I need more doses, more time, more patience but I’m thinking that all the pharmaceutical crap I put in my body day after day is laughing at the CBD as it tries to bump its way into my bloodstream. Ha! All the medication is laughing. What do you think you’re going to do? We’ve all been at this for 15 years; her body is more chemicals than blood. And we don’t work anymore but she has little choice. And YOU certainly aren’t the answer!!! Sorry, I tend to personify everything from my hummingbirds to a stuffed cat I have, lacking the ability to care for a live animal. Sigh.
More doses. More time. More patience. Okay then.
Posted by Sherri at 1:59 PM