Reincarnation

I’ve had at least three spontaneous experiences which may or may not have been “past life” memories.  I’ve written about them on this blog.  So every once in a while I pick up a book about the subject and try to tackle it again.  Right now I’m reading “Beyond the Ashes” which is an accounting (in part) about people, mostly non-Jewish, who have had unexplainable memories of the Holocaust.  Not the kind of things everyone knows about from books and movies, but very specific and verifiable experiences which are hard to explain.  I myself had one that scared the pants off of me but sealed it away for years before I talked about it.

At any rate, I bring it up because I have been tackling the idea that we keep incarnating the same kind of problems over and over again (especially if we don’t resolve them).  One thought about the Holocaust reincarnates is that they came back too soon (a therapist told me that years ago and it felt accurate), before the soul had a chance to let go of what they just went through in their most recent life; especially because the life was one of such horrific challenge.  The world today ALMOST pales the Holocaust; and what was done to people (not just Jews; Gypsy’s, homosexuals, etc.) in the way of torture is beyond imagining.

                                                                                                                               .

So I’m thinking, if I was in fact killed in the Holocaust, I sure feel like I came back way,, way too fast (which is discussed in the book) and that that might account (in part) for my anger of being here now and my dread of possibly having to come back again after my death this time,   And then there’s the fear of how much longer I end up living in pain and fear of how bad it’s going to get before I’m done.  Whew.  Take a pill, right?  And what if I can’t hack it anymore?  Will I be punished and forced to do a do over? 

Anyway, I started to think I brought NF (or my soul chose it) in with me because I haven’t reconciled all the pain and torture I endured.   Crazy?  Maybe.   But we don’t know what we don’t know; we just cling to our ideology because we are so desperate to make sense of the senseless.  I have a lot of time to ponder these questions.  They aren’t meant to be morose.  I just like to untangle the knots in life’s tapestry.  It helps.