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Tuesday, April 23, 2013


I have been so grateful for the help I get from Pam.  She is an angle and we care a lot about each other.  She brings me flowers and cookies.  I give her food and make sure I thank her while she’s working.  She “mothers” me in some ways though not in a cloying way. That I would not be able to handle.

She went in for an MRI of her liver yesterday.  She has Hepatitis C and has been taking medication for years.  She must do these liver checks, and the last one wasn’t good, hence the MRI.  She just called me.  They are going to be doing a biopsy and they also want to do an X-ray of her lungs to make sure there is no cancer there.  They also are doing another blood draw.  I am not sure what is behind the reasoning of doing the X-ray before they know the results of the biopsy but it doesn’t sound very positive.  I hope I am wrong.   I have been praying for her like crazy.  She is such a love; I don’t want to see her have to face this.  Her son doesn’t drive; they live together and barely scrape by.  She is terrified and I don’t blame her.  She has talked to me about this in a “what if “ kind of way. 

I struggle both physically and financially, but I would be on the street or dead if it wasn’t for my dad.  She doesn’t have that cushion.  She has talked about her fear of being on the street.  She just turned 68 and she works her butt off and in a physical kind of way.  She drags her leg and limps sometimes but tells me it’s nothing to worry about.  She lives in fear that I or one of her other clients will complain about her so she pushes herself harder than she has to with me.  I just hope she doesn’t push too much.  And her life has never been easy.  Harder than most.  She still has a sunny outlook, but she has had challenges as or more difficult than most, including me.

Yesterday, one of my hummingbirds flitted down to Oliver’s level….he was on the inside, hummingbird on the outside.  He kept flitting at eye level for at least a minute to two.  Never seen anything like it.  Oliver’s head was spinning like Regan in The Exorcist.  Poor guy.   Now he’s just yelling at them all.  Its okay, Oliver, I yell sometimes too, just not at hummingbirds.

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