Bye, Bye My Boy

Don’t know what is worse right now; the pain in my body or the one in my heart and soul.  I have to surrender Vinnie.  I’ve tried for four months, almost five, but though I love him, it just isn’t a match.  He is so young, so playful; I’ve tried everything including letting him on the deck in a harness.  He escaped twice, I had no choice.  He doesn’t mean to hurt me, but he loves jumping up on me and he hits the tumors in my leg and it’s unbearable.     And he wakes me so early I don’t get any rest.  He just needs a more active home.  I know I’m doing the right thing, but I don’t have to like it.  Sometimes those are the hardest choices; the ones that hurt but are right.  And I just am not ready for another animal right now.

One of my helpers, Hamta, is taking him for me.  He ADORES her….I’ve been calling her “his girlfriend” since the beginning.  We’ve talked about it a lot and today she said she’d take him….and then asked me a lot of questions about his care.  And I’ll give her everything I have for him; carrier, food, toys, bowls, harness…she won’t need to buy a thing until he needs more food.   This is going to be so hard.  She’s quitting too, she finally got her home daycare business going…so she’ll be gone June 1^st.

These kinds of choices are so hard.  But my health has to come first, and he is just too much work for me, even with the help I get.  Too demanding, too disruptive and too young.  I did it all too fast after Oliver.  Missing the beat of another heart just did me in.

 What's in here, anyway??