Sunday, February 2, 2014
I’ve been investigating cannabis oil with cbd, which is not the same as thc, the ingredient in pot that makes you high. There has been lots of talk lately about cannabis oil with cbd, which has been proven to end seizures and help with chronic pain and a host of other things. Without making you high or even tired or goofy.
I had some weed that had more of the cbd in it and it was great. It really helped with the pain and did not make me “high”. But I’m having a hard time finding it. I haven’t even gone into a marijuana dispensary yet because it is too damn hard to find them and to get there.
It is profoundly frustrating when our government continues to consider cannabis as something worse than shooting heroin, or just as bad. Of course, if people actually started to improve, what would become of “medicine” and the doctors who treat us? Scientists have been trying to “cure” us for many lifetimes, but every time they come up with a possible solution, it is shot down. Think of all the out of work doctors, nurses and other health care professionals if the answers to the most perplexing questions were actually solved. Makes you think. The pharmaceutical companies would rather poison us with man-made copies of the real thing. And charging a lot more.
The pain has been horrific these days. Can barely go out the damn door. Lately the pain has been like withdrawal symptoms; legs jerking around and folding inward, toes curling. I am willing to try anything, even if it kills me. Because I can’t stand much more of this life.
I try, I really do. I think about what my purpose here on Earth is; I try to understand what it is that I am missing in terms of that purpose, and whether or not I am just avoiding some of the bigger questions. But the pain keeps me from considering much of anything these days.
And then, for one or two days, I think I have my gastro issues in check….but I’m losing weight again and there isn’t much I can do about it. I eat. I eat all through the day, small amounts. But pain burns adrenaline which burns calories so keeping it on is impossible. I cannot tolerate any of the drinks with the added calories.
I’m so ambivalent about being alive, I’m sure that’s the crux of the whole thing.
Posted by Sherri at 10:36 AM