My Gosh

My gosh it’s been a long time since I posted.   I think I’m feeling sad that I haven’t done enough to promote my blog so others with pain related issues will see it.  Not that I’m a great writer; just so they won’t feel so alone, like I do much of the time.

I’ve had a UTI recently and it hasn’t cleared up so my doc was supposed to call in a script yesterday but the pharmacy said they never got it and now I’m waiting for someone on call to call back but they won’t fix it on a weekend.  I’m going to call them back (they said give it 30 minutes and It’s already more than that) and tell them if I have a bladder/kidney related emergency this weekend because I didn’t get the script, they’ll see me coming LOL.   Actually, there were crystals in my urine.  I know it’s bad for a cat, but my doc said it wasn’t “necessarily” bad for me (I didn’t mention cats).  But it could be a kidney thing.

So. Surgery.  It is scheduled for the end of January and I got all the questions I had answered and I have a pre op date but I’m still a little bit on the fence.  Not as much as before.  The pain has been so outrageous I just want to hang on to the olive branch the doc is offering….even a 20% decrease in the pain (20 to 80 is the averages) would be welcomed.  But I can feel them growing in my other leg too and the pain is getting bad there.  We shall see.

Other than that, I am spent.  I had an outrageous dream the other night.  In it, I was sitting behind the wheel of a car at a stop sign.   Suddenly, the passenger door opened and some strange man I’d never seen came in with a gun and held it to my head.  And in the dream, I had the clear thought “This is what you said you wanted.  This is what it looks like” (Death).  But instead, I took his face in my hands, looked him in the eye, and said “I’m sorry you had such a hard life”  He looked at me, exited the car, and as I sighed with relief he shot himself in the head.  The last thing I recall were police and paramedics everywhere.  Then I woke up.  Reminded me of that show “Medium”

The doc just called.  But I have no one to pick it up and they don’t deliver on the weekend.  Maybe they’ll make an exception since I’m so uncomfortable.