Saturday, July 12, 2014
My generous family bought me an air mattress to replace my 30 year old regular one….haven’t slept well for over a year and even with the soft topper, I feel the tumors and keep waking up. The first night I slept uninterrupted for six hours straight. And dozed for two more.
Of course the next night was back to not sleeping. I do need memory foam on top of the air mattress so I’m ordering some from Amazon.
I’ve been giving a great deal of thought to these dang tumors. I just turned 61, which means I have lived 222,075 days so far (adding in the days since the 23rd). I don’t know how that translates into per-diem tumor growth because I doubt that they grow every day. But they are growing now, and a whole lot faster than before. And how many days have I left? Who knows.
Pain is tormenting me lately. I don’t seem to have any good days anymore. And the distractions are not working; I’m out of books and videos for another two weeks until the Library on Wheels comes back. I got gift cards for Barnes and Noble for my birthday but I can’t get there and when I go online, I can’t find anything I want or if I do, I think, gee, I could just get that out of the library. Hopeless. I’m hopeless.
M help took a couple days off and they sent me a replacement but only for a few hours on Friday and an hour on Monday. Took all my energy explaining where things are, how things have to be done, etc. I need to go to the store but likely won’t get there for five more days. I see my pain doc on Tuesday so she isn’t coming that day either. My brother is taking me. They can’t take me because it’s in a different county. Frigging rules drive me nuts.
I’m really freaked about this appointment.
Posted by Sherri at 8:33 AM