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Saturday, January 4, 2014


Truth be told, I’d been preparing myself mentally for Oliver’s passing for a long time….at least a couple of months.  I felt it in my bones.  While he ate normally, he slept more and was rail thin, kind of like me.  The more he ate, the more he seemed to lose.  And he groomed himself non-stop, though I will never know why.  I write this because a woman who works for a shelter was in touch with me about a cat I was interested in.  The cat was being fostered, and the rules around that are even stranger than the rules around adoption, which I’ll explain.  At any rate, I explained about my mobility limitations without drama or any mention of NF.

I know how selfish this must sound; being ill and needing help I probably shouldn't adopt another animal....I actually told myself Oliver would be the last.....I just loved him so much and feel I still have it to give another abandoned kitty.

 Of course she didn’t understand when I said pain made it hard for me to travel.  I requested that she email pictures of cats that meet my qualifications, and when there was a fit, perhaps instead of taking me there (which they have to do; you can’t just go to someone’s home who is fostering…you must be escorted) that she bring the cat to me and I’d pay cash.  But she shot it down because they have to see if we bond.  I understand that.  Should bring super glue with me next time.  Anyway, she told me I “wasn’t done grieving” and I just thanked her and let it go.

So a good email friend of mine named Carolyn reminded me that I had been grieving for months and his death was the end of most of that grief.  Except of course, for the emptiness.  Cat lady couldn’t have known that, although to her credit, she visited my blog because it’s at the bottom of my email.  I never mentioned it to her.  We agreed to wait, though I just kept on looking and today, visiting, potential matches.  It’s like dating.  Anyway, it would require too much energy to explain and no need, and I don’t want to be on a soapbox.  She was doing what she thought was right, and she was doing her job well and I respect that.  She was just wrong about me.  But that’s okay; I can’t let those things upset me, especially when I’m in the kind of pain I’ve been in recently.  Today was awful, pain wise.

However, friend- wise and cat wise it was a pretty good day!  A friend called to say today was “Kitty Day” and she was coming over to schlep me to the shelter!  She had promised that the day Oliver passed, but I must have forgotten.  And she is the one who brought me a big stuffed bear; another friend brought me a cute stuffed kitty.  I am blessed.

So she comes over, we go there and I had a few cats in mind that I so online  None of those were available for some reason, but suddenly I saw this adorable black and white cat who was a little young (2) and not quite ready for adoption.  He’s being fixed on Monday and will be available Tuesday.  But here’s the thing.  I could fill out the paperwork, but not put a hold on Vinnie (his name).  You can’t do that until they are deemed “adoptable” which should be Tuesday.  But I have to get back there and spend time bonding with him before I can either adopt him or put him on hold for 24 hours.  I explained my mobility issues but it doesn’t matter.

My problem is their hours.  They open at 11 and you have to have the adoption done by 3:30 because they close at 4.   My helpers leave at 12 (well, Tuesday and Thursday I have until 1 but technically, they aren’t supposed to help me with my pet…don’t even ask).  And of course, my friends all work.  I got another offer for a ride from a friend of a friend, so I’m hoping that still stands and it will be a go by Tuesday or Wednesday.  But without the hold, which I can’t get until I’ve bonded with him, anyone else could pop in before me and adopt him.  It’s twisted.  They wrote that I was “interested” on his paperwork, but that means nothing.

I’m hoping for the best.  One way or another, I’ll have a cat soon, I hope.  It was hard because part of me wanted to keep looking when I heard I could not take him today.  But then I realized that if Vinnie is the one, I should do everything I can to adopt him.  No pics yet; don’t know when, I don’t own a camera.  However, my home is kitty ready….litter, food, new carrier, new litter box….I hope its Vinnie and I hope he’s happy here.  And I hope I’m doing the right thing.

I “asked” Oliver and he gave me four paws up!  I still worry I may be taking on too much.  But I need the companionship and my dad is really encouraging me to forge ahead.  He’s a wise man.

Hopefully, I’ll know more soon.  I still see Oliver around the corner and out of the corner of my eyes.  I’m waiting to find a big depression on my side of the bed where he liked to sleep (which I solved by putting pillows there) but I moved them back where pillows belong, hoping to see a glimpse of him.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am NOT replacing him    But he “told “ me to save another kitty and give him a good home.  Will do, Oliver, my special  BFF!!

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