Grace

Oh man, the pain has been so out of this world I can hardly breathe.  I think that losing Oliver is still hitting me over the head and hard.  I love Vinnie and he is the sweetest cat ever with lots of kitty still in him.  And I do think Oliver sent him to me but I am frightened now of the level of pain and whether I can deal with him long term.  Right now he is eating me out of house and home.    I just thought Oliver would want me to rescue another cat, like I rescued him.  And like we rescued each other.  I just thought Oliver would want me to rescue another cat, like I rescued him.  And like we rescued each other.

I’ve been thinking about all my challenges and how the worse it gets, the more opportunity to grow spiritually and show grace and dignity.  I’m at about 30% in the grace and dignity department.    And my computer is going haywire…having a hard time writing this.  Yet another opportunity!   I do not now, nor I have ever thought I had more or harder challenges than anyone else.  I am lucky in so many respects I feel ashamed to complain at all.  And yet.  But whether the challenge is ours, personally, or whether it involves a loved one, it’s all the same.  Rising to the occasion.  I just want to rise out of here sometimes!

I have been following that story about the young girl who died (brain dead) after surgery.  I had not understood the difference between coma and brain dead until now.  That poor child is not coming back to this world from what I understand about it now.   Her mother can’t let her go and removed her from the hospital (legal battles will continue I am sure) and found a place through a lawyer (of course) who took her.  Feeding tube, breathing tube, dead body.  The brain is what tells the body what to do…apparently; in addition to telling me to breathe it tells me to grow tumors.  But I digress.

I feel for her mom, I really do.  And what do we know, really, about what is to come?  Nothing.  We know nothing.  I read that her case will not set a precedent; they released her on the condition that it read they were releasing a corpse.  This is so sad it hurts me to read and write about it.   I do so because again, our challenges are for us.  That little girl is done with her challenges on Earth.  Her mother is not.  I pray she can let her daughter go.  She will have to, and soon.  I just want her to be at peace.