Trampoline

My body is a playground for the pain today.  It’s bouncing up and down my legs and has turned me into a backyard trampoline.  Oh well.  I was reading this article online at CNN about people who have overcome challenges and found their calling.  One of the people was Noah Levine, who is the son of one of my favorite writers on meditation, Stephen Levine.

Another featured participant was this woman whose calling is communicating with the other side.  She makes 1,000 bucks an hour helping people.   I don’t deny her a living, but something about it makes me think “charlatan” even though she might be perfectly legitimate.  There are so many of the “take the money and run” kind of authors on this subject, I guess I feel mad and a bit jealous because before I started taking all this crap for the pain, I could do that as well.  Really.  I’ve written about it here…”My First Encounter” I think was the name of it.  I have that search engine on my site but I used it to find something the other day and the thing I was looking for didn’t pop up.

At any rate, I still can do it just for myself; I communicate regularly with people who have passed.  Not as actually voices, just as thoughts that belong to them.  And no, I’m not crazy.  They aren’t actual voices and no one tells me to hurt myself or anyone else.  In fact, if anything, they keep me grounded.   That’s not to say I’m not challenged, for I am, big time.  I just peek into the abyss and occasionally sit at its edge, feet tangling inside as I peer down.  But I’m not jumping.  Not yet.

My nephew was just here and showed me great pics that he took in Belize with his parents and sister.  I want a virtual reality headset so I can visit all these places…as well as Paris, Rome, etc.  Sigh.  Perhaps it will be available before I check out.

But not today.  A friend called but I’m in too much pain to have anyone else over today.   I hate saying no to people, but I’m normally not much fun….today I’m really wiped.   And the backs of my knees feel like knives are stuck in them.

Back to breathing…one second at a time…no past, no future, just now, now and now.