Lifted

I have a friend whose daughter has NF.  Don’t want to mention her by name, but she knows who she is when she reads this.   I just got an email from her, in response to one I sent to her, thanking her for another in a long list of gifts she has sent me over the years.  He words never cease to amaze me.  They always stir up feelings of peace, along with many questions.  They always lift me in ways that I can’t quite explain, cheering me on to a life filled with meaning, instead of despair.

I am always surprised when I find myself looking in the face of another birthday, as I am today, June 23^rd.    It’s always been a very mixed blessing for me; mostly, I have hated birthdays because they represent another year without much to show for it.  Besides how I deal with my pain and my living situation.  I have made peace with living sans cat.  Surprisingly, it wasn’t very difficult.  I think the lack of stress around caring for my pets; worrying about what will happen to them when I pass, the cost  of keeping it healthy, feeding, cleaning after it (my helpers don’t help with the pet, except to clean the area around the litter box….I clean out the box) has made it tolerable.  I miss all the good stuff about loving an animal but if you can’t take the bad with the good, you shouldn’t have one.

I prayed last night that I would have a tolerable day because people are stopping by for my birthday.   I woke up in horrible pain and it hasn’t abated.  Not that my body knows the difference between my birthday and every other day of the week.

I will do everything I can to be cheerful today and welcoming to those who drop by.  My friend Anne came by last night with gifts, food and what was to be a movie….but I couldn’t get Netflix to work.  It happens all the time on my television….Comcast makes Netflix hard to work, apparently.   Anyway, she is such a dear friend and I love her so much for spending all the time she does with me.

I’m going back to my book now.  The Goldfinch.  Getting incredible reviews and it is interesting but I think it’s getting more praise then is deserved, frankly.