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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Practice Grace

The lesson to “never compare” is a difficult one to learn…and to keep learning every day of our lives.  I sometimes minimize my pain by comparing my situation to people who have greater challenges.  And sometimes, I do it the other way around.  The “You think YOU’VE got problems” attitude.  Both are toxic to the body, mind and soul.
First of all, no one lives in anyone else’s life.  So when I see someone feeling sorry for themselves because they haven’t got this or that, or the world isn’t moving in the direction they wish to go, I sort of seethe inside, thinking they no nothing of true suffering.  But then, I’m not in their shoes and haven’t a clue why they feel the way they do.  I don’t know their ‘back story’ even though I think I do.  The old adage “You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’ is a truism we must embrace so as not to judge anyone, most of all the people we know the least.  Or the most.  Sometimes, it’s the one’s we know the most that presents the biggest challenge.
I wrote a piece about disabled parking places…that’s a good example.  When I see someone get out of their car with a disabled sticker hanging from their rear view mirror, I tend to look at them so I can “tell” if they need it or not.  Even though I, myself, probably look as abled body as anyone.  You can’t ‘see’ the pain I am in and the need I have to walk short distances.  Heck, even my family and friends forget, and start walking too rapidly for me.
I use to wish I could make my pain doctors understand my level of pain by just touching them and having them feel what I feel.  But truthfully?  I would not wish ONE MINUTE of my life on anyone else, especially those I love.  You can’t really learn from that anyway because you’d have to feel my pain day in and day out for years to really get it.  And that, I especially would never wish on anyone. 
Practice Grace.  Often.  Always.

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