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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

My Friend with NF

I met someone almost three years ago with NF. Online. He lives in the same state I do, but is too far away for us to see each other. He can't drive anymore, and I can't drive that far. As bad as my NF is, his is much, much worse. And has gotten much worse over the time we have known each other. Now, he falls almost every day. He lives alone and only has one friend who is able to help him. He also only has one sister for family, and she lives out of state. I am worried sick about him. He knows he has to make a change, but figuring out what that involves isn't an easy task. We talk all the time, and sometimes, in my anxiousness to help him, I express myself in a way that makes him feel like I'm lecturing him. I am not, but I understand how he hears it and I try not to sound so anxious. Of course, I also fear I am heading in that direction, physically. Things are changing for me too, but not at the same rate. I fear my family will dump me in a home when things start to go south. I hope I have the strength to end it when I see that coming. All he does is pray for death. LITERALLY. He prays he won't wake up every single night, and is moritified when he wakes up and has to do whatever he has to do to get moving. But he can't do that without falling now. I am mortified.

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