The Choice

Often when dealing with my health problems with neurofibromatosis, I see myself sitting on the small ledge tucked away on the side of a mountain. Beneath me is the endless abyss of darkness and fear so deep it takes my breath away. There is only a small branch to hang onto, and there are days I am clutching that branch with all my life. But the flip side of that is this: I sit very still and look all around me. I see the most amazing vistas you can imagine; mountain views, sparkling ocean off in the distance, rain squalls on one side, a rainbow on the other, eagles and other birds flying above, squawking and diving....at night the stars are endless and I am never too hot or too cold. I can almost hear Louis Armstrong or Willie Nelson singing "What a Wonderful World"

 So that's the choice. And I make it every minute of every day. Sometimes I'm so close to the abyss it terrifies me, but when I think of my family and friends, I'm on the other side. And that's what we ALL have to do, every single day, often many times during the day. Whatever your vision of the choice is, that's what we have to do in one way or another.

 The abyss is a very seductive, cunning lover. But it isn't the inner partner in life that is good for us. The true inner partner is quieter....it needs to be courted consciously. It speaks softly and it waits patiently